mission prep: new leaf

The paperwork for my mission took a long time to finish.

Finally getting my call felt good, and I think it gave me a little boost of confidence to at last be able to tell everyone exactly where I was going and when.

That was fair and fine,

except that everything was still the same. I was still the same Sydni with the same personality and the same flaws and the same strengths and the same habits. The only difference was that I had now been assigned a mission.

My perspective began to change not when I received my mission call, but rather when I focused on preparing for my mission.

I feel happy, but not just happy. I think happiness is an emotion that waves and flexes. I feel joy, which to me means a feeling of contentment and peace with my life, no matter the emotion I am feeling in the moment. 

I feel like the blessing of joy and emotional maturity has been strengthened as I read my scriptures and pray and stay focused on my mission.

People keep asking me if I am ready to go. I know I'm not ready, but I feel as ready as I can be.

They sometimes ask me if I'm stressed. Nope. I honestly feel fine. Things are happening quickly: I go to the temple June 7th. I quit my jobs June 12th. I go to Russia from June 15th thru the 25th. I leave for my mission July 9th. Maybe I should feel more nervous than I do, but I only feel peace right now.

42 days.