These are my personal experiences and opinions in my personal healing from my depression. These ideas are not meant to represent depression or people with depression as a whole.
In my experience with depression, depression doesn't directly give me negative thoughts, but it creates an environment for those negative thoughts to thrive.
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To break this down into a better example:
My brain with depression is like a dark, warm place.
A dark, warm place alone doesn't cause mold , but if a small spore finds its way to that dark, warm place, it grows much more easily and at a far more rapid pace than a normal environment.
Some of these negative thoughts include:
~ critizing myself
"I'm not good enough."
"Who am I kidding? I'll never get through college..."
~self-esteem issues
not being able to look in the mirror
"I'm fat."
"No matter what I do I cannot feel pretty."
[The interesting thing is that self-esteem issues have no relation to how I actually look. It's how I feel I look.]
[The interesting thing is that self-esteem issues have no relation to how I actually look. It's how I feel I look.]
~founded, and unfounded fear
[On my mission, I became uncharacteristically afraid of any type of change. Normally when I face challenges my thought processes are something like "This is hard, but I can do this." During depression, I am often filled with overwhelming, sometimes paralyzing fear.]
~the self-defeating thoughts
"I'll never get better, so there's no point in even trying."
"I can't heal from depression ,because even if I heal, I will only go through it again."
~being bored with life, the "rat race"
I think this is a special kind of demon I deal with during depression.
I am very aware of the "rat race" idea. I don't like the idea of working really hard in school to work really hard in college to work really hard in a career to eventually retire and THEN do all the things you've wanted to do in your life.
I am very aware that sometimes society makes life feel more like a game than a human experience.
In the midst of depression, I am quick to grow bored with life and stuck where I am.
the scariest one...
[On my mission, I became uncharacteristically afraid of any type of change. Normally when I face challenges my thought processes are something like "This is hard, but I can do this." During depression, I am often filled with overwhelming, sometimes paralyzing fear.]
~the self-defeating thoughts
"I'll never get better, so there's no point in even trying."
"I can't heal from depression ,because even if I heal, I will only go through it again."
~being bored with life, the "rat race"
I think this is a special kind of demon I deal with during depression.
I am very aware of the "rat race" idea. I don't like the idea of working really hard in school to work really hard in college to work really hard in a career to eventually retire and THEN do all the things you've wanted to do in your life.
I am very aware that sometimes society makes life feel more like a game than a human experience.
In the midst of depression, I am quick to grow bored with life and stuck where I am.
the scariest one...
