Thursday, October 23, 2014

from a 1 month, 5 day year-old missionary

This is what I wrote in my journal after being on a mission for 1 month and five days.

August 14, 2014

My mission feels like a dream.

I feel dis-attached from almost everything I have known.

It feels like time doesn't exist.

I do what I need to do in a day. Then I sleep. Then I do it again.

Sometimes I am happy to be here. Sometimes I am indifferent to being here. Sometimes I have to do my best to pretend I don't hate being here.

I feel different on my mission. I feel closer to the Lord and the Spirit.

I am learning so fast. I am learning about life -- mine and others. I am learning and understanding better how other people think, believe and act, and about my own religion.

I am learning that many things in life -- even good things -- are distractions from what really matters.

God is first. Family is second. Helping others is third.

My career and aspirations and hobbies and passions are amazing blessings God has given me to find joy in my life. But if my life is a stage, these things are simply backdrops. 

On my mission, I feel dis-attached from almost I have known, It has been one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.

I am learning not to define myself by those aspirations and hobbies and passions I cherish. I am learning to see myself and others as God sees us: beautiful daughters and sons of a loving Heavenly Father with the divine potential to reach celestial glory of far greater honor than any achievement we could possibly attain here on earth.

When I die I don't want to be remembered for what I accomplished. I want my children to remember that God was always first, my family was always second and serving others was always third. Those are the things that matter to me.

Sometimes I yearn for the comfort of home, but in the comfort of home I may have never this lesson of priorities in such a grand, perspective-changing way.

John 14:27

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