Healing Negative Thoughts, Depression

These are my personal experiences and opinions in my personal healing from my depression. These ideas are not meant to represent depression or people with depression as a whole.

In my experience with depression, depression doesn't directly give me negative thoughts, but it creates an environment for those negative thoughts to thrive.

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To break this down into a better example:

My brain with depression is like a dark, warm place.

A dark, warm place alone doesn't cause mold , but if a small spore finds its way to that dark, warm place, it grows much more easily and at a far more rapid pace than a normal environment.

Some of these negative thoughts include:

~ critizing myself

"I'm not good enough."

"Who am I kidding? I'll never get through college..."

~self-esteem issues

not being able to look in the mirror

"I'm fat."

"No matter what I do I cannot feel pretty."
[The interesting thing is that self-esteem issues have no relation to how I actually look. It's how I feel I look.]

~founded, and unfounded fear
[On my mission, I became uncharacteristically afraid of any type of change. Normally when I face challenges my thought processes are something like "This is hard, but I can do this." During depression, I am often filled with overwhelming, sometimes paralyzing fear.]

~the self-defeating thoughts
"I'll never get better, so there's no point in even trying."
"I can't heal from depression ,because even if I heal, I will only go through it again."

~being bored with life, the "rat race"
I think this is a special kind of demon I deal with during depression.
I am very aware of the "rat race" idea. I don't like the idea of working really hard in school to work really hard in college to work really hard in a career to eventually retire and THEN do all the things you've wanted to do in your life.
I am very aware that sometimes society makes life feel more like a game than a human experience.
In the midst of depression, I am quick to grow bored with life and stuck where I am.

the scariest one...



~"I'd be better off dead."
These thoughts are very scary, very real and very dangerous.

If you begin to have suicidal thoughts, talk to someone. It is unbelievably difficult to do, I know, but it is absolutely vital.


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Looking back at these thoughts from a healthier standpoint, I can see how unfounded -- and sometimes just plain foolish -- these thoughts are.

Sometimes in the moment of thinking them during depression, I can recognize how unfounded they are.

..but, regardless of how unfounded or foolish they are, these thoughts are real to me. I often believe these thoughts when I'm depressed. It very quickly creates a self-defeating cycle. I can't heal, so there is no point in trying to heal.

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Depression can be a very abstract concept, in that it is a different experience for everyone. Because of this, finding a way to cope and to heal may be a simple act of trial and error, so I made a list of some of the things that have helped me improve my tendency to entertain negative thought patterns:


1. Acknowledge your thoughts, positive and negative.

Simply pretending they are not there will not make them go away. You will never be able to fix something by ignoring that it's broken.

The interesting thing about depression, is that it's very hard to trust our thoughts. Things that make sense to us when we're depressed, aren't always things that make sense. For that purpose, refer to #2 and #3 on this list.

2. Find a "sponsor". 

Find someone you trust whom you can ask "Hey. Today I am feeling ______. Does that make sense to you or that just the depression talking?"

In the midst of depression many of us temporarily lose our identities. We can sometimes temporarily lose the drive and passion and interests we had before. Have someone in your life who knows how absolutely wonderful and priceless you are. This may be a parent, a spouse, a friend or maybe just someone who knows what depression is like.

**Warning: If you're not married, try to avoid a romantic partner to be this sponsor. Many times romance confuses and complicates the situation, which can, in the long run, actually be far more detrimental than helpful in healing.

If you don't think you have a friend or person like this in your life, there is a cool website I recently found about it that you may like to check out:


3. When in doubt, blame it on the depression.
(another title option could be: Give yourself a break.)

You slept in late. Again.

Getting upset and blaming yourself too much just perpetuates the self-defeating cycle of depression. Instead of beating yourself up over the event, blame it on depression and move on.

You slept in late. Again. Depression sucks. Oh well.


4. Find your outlet.

Mine is writing. Writing helps me refresh and connect with myself and others. It helps me reach outward instead of retracting inward.

Find your outlet, and stick with it, even when you don't want to do it. Go running. Paint. Draw. Sing. Dance. Talk. Watch Netflix. Cook. Play an instrument.

If you can't think of your outlet right away, try one of these things.



5. Make cheat sheets for yourself.

Keep a record of when you feel the most down, and when you feel your best. Note the activities that may cause you a bit more stress. Note that activities where you feel more positive.

Make yourself a "care plan". This care plan should be unique to you, but here are some ideas of things you can make apart of a care plan:

• Reward system: You got through that class you absolutely hate. Treat yourself! with something you like.. maybe it's a bubble bath or a meal out or a soda.. anything.. when I was really struggling with depression, I didn't like eating or drinking anything at all, except Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper was literally the only thing that I was excited about having. Find your Dr. Pepper in depression, and use it to your advantage.
• Keep a schedule. That structure will keep you busy, and keep you from falling into the traps of hours and days spent alone in bed.
• Rewrite negative thoughts. Literally write a negative thought down, and then rewrite to be more realistic and positive.
• [more ideas coming]
• [If you have some ideas, leave them in the comments, please! I love to hear how others deal with depression.]

6. Take care of yourself.

This is a bit broader way to look at healing negative thoughts, but it is so important to a holistic approach.

[This is easier said than done, I know.]

Get enough sleep. If you can't sleep, rest.

Eat healthy.

Exercise.

Talk. Talk about your day. Talk about their day. Talk about depression. Sometimes it's difficult to express. You need to talk about your feelings and thoughts, or it will stay stifled inside of you.

Consider medication. Medication won't be an instant solve-all, but it will help a genetically predisposed body back to a normal, balanced level of serotonin.

Considering counseling, short-term or long-term. Counseling is the best holistic approach to healing.

REMEMBER THAT IT'S OKAY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. It's not selfish! You know that saftey video we have to watch everytime we get on an airplane? ..the "put oxygen on yourself before assisting others"? It's the same concept.

If negative thought processes are something you are working on, be patient with yourself. 

Changing behavior is hard work and takes a  lot of reinforcement.

After many months of devoted work on improving my thought patterns, I have noticed myself transforming into a stronger, healthier and happier version of myself.

***At this point in my healing, I am focusing on a holistic approach. This means that I am working very hard on keeping my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health up to par. Keep in mind that simply "thinking depression better" isn't really a thing. If you had a broken foot, you would go to a doctor. Depression is a physical, mental, emotional illness. If approaches such as this are not working, please see a healthcare professional. [I see a counselor, work with a doctor and take medication.]